i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
That's intense
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize