Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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