If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
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I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
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I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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