I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
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There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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