He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
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That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
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The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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