It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize