wakey wakey hands off snakey
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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