so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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