I forgot how hot balto sounded
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
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puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
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Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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