I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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