I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize