I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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