I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize