Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
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I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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