The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize