she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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