Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize