Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
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I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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