I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at about main and main street
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize