Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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