I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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