quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize