all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
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Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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