Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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