At least make sure they are 18
Why
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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