If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
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Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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