The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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