wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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