i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Someone shattered a urinal.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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