i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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