All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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