im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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