and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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