did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
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You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
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He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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