Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize