I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize