Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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