I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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