Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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