with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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