like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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