Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  We should go out drinking together soon

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm still not going to have sex with you

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  (248): We should go out drinking together soon (734): I'm still not going to have sex with you http://tfl.nu/vh87
  Replies (22) Good night (568) Bad night (1339)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.

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  (314): I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt. http://tfl.nu/c3u1
  Replies (4) Good night (563) Bad night (821) Order T-Shirt
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  (863): View more from Florida

  During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?

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  (863): During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart? http://tfl.nu/3xgk
  Replies (26) Good night (7218) Bad night (990) Order T-Shirt
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.

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  (641): Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that. http://tfl.nu/il0g
  Replies (15) Good night (4036) Bad night (869) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero

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  (859): Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero http://tfl.nu/5voz
  Replies (9) Good night (4622) Bad night (1339) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.

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  (510): answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it. http://tfl.nu/6rsg
  Replies (6) Good night (1296) Bad night (5251) Order T-Shirt
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  (909): View more from California

  that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though

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  (909): that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though http://tfl.nu/jicr
  Replies (4) Good night (2114) Bad night (645) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?

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  (512): They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true? http://tfl.nu/qtx2
  Replies (13) Good night (2478) Bad night (1249) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf

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  (250): dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf http://tfl.nu/yf3n
  Replies (7) Good night (2748) Bad night (1017) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor

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  (250): You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor http://tfl.nu/35l1
  Replies (2) Good night (1727) Bad night (666) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.

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  (+61): Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night. http://tfl.nu/mvw7
  Replies (6) Good night (2439) Bad night (304)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...

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  (602): I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion... http://tfl.nu/4785
  Replies (3) Good night (385) Bad night (807) Order T-Shirt
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.

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  (337): he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy. http://tfl.nu/oyxi
  Replies (5) Good night (826) Bad night (213) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?

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  (541): So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right? http://tfl.nu/c92i
  Replies (3) Good night (385) Bad night (448) Order T-Shirt
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  (44): View more from United Kingdom

  I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud

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  (44): I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud http://tfl.nu/s93d
  Replies (7) Good night (699) Bad night (158) Order T-Shirt

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