he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
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i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
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Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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