God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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