she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
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I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
This toilet bowl is my home.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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