this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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