I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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