after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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