Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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