so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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